On and on and on and on....

This is a pic of me and my husband when we first start dating. Ryan's shaggy hair, my ghetto face, long hair...boy has a lot changed but it is a cute-ish picture...I ruined it with that half hearted kiss/ghetto face I make fun of my cousins for doing. I'm up at 1:29 not much of surprise but my mind was racing again...so I had to sit down and catch it...hence why I'm sitting here blogging lol. I was thinking about the end of the month approaching and how bill due dates were taunting me and the lack of money in our wells fargo account. I also was reawakened by paranoid thoughts of people breaking in...yes I'm paranoid...unofficially. There have been 8 total robberies in this neighborhood since we moved in...pretty scary...crazy. So my brother is over again...yes he's playing Call of Duty 4. We tried to introduce him to another good action game...Rainbow Six 2...I guess that was short lived. I went to sleep earlier and he was playing it...guess the urge to play COD4 took over. He's talking to some kid via bluetooth about what time it is where their at...made me think of how far gaming has come. Technology for that matter...I remember how cool it was to shoot the ducks on Duck Hunt back in the "ancient" times of Nintendo. Weird. I'm 23 years old...my brother is the ripe ol age of 13 ha and he's far more advanced in the ways of technology than I am...wait...no fair...he was born in the technology age...I guess I lose either way you think of it.

So lately I feel like I'm up against a wall with a firing squad pointing their long nosed rifles at me...I know that's morbid...but it's how I feel. I guess I'm feeling like any decision I make is a life or death one I dunno...I am ready to get out of it. Ready for some change...for Ryan to get a job...for this damn economy to stop depressing me. I'm not a depressed kinda gal but everytime I login to my bank account it makes me depressed...sickening. Ugh. Onwards...

Today I accomplished nothing but I did add paranoia material to my brain. I watched this exciting show on the Discovery Channel about Solar Storms and another paranoia filled show about mega tsunami's. The next big solar storm is due to happen around 2011 of course this date is not set in stone or else I would not be sitting here right now and I would be outside digging a storm shelter like they had in Blast From the Past. haha what a funny movie...but when I get to thinking about how advantageous a fully stocked storm shelter would be...it's nto so funny. Anywho. The storm will wipe out all of the transformers on the planet...cutting down power and satellites for over a year perhaps. I don't think our country or countries for that matter will ever be prepared for that kind of catastrophe. We live in an age of bloggers and age of technology hungry peeps and an age where life without electricy would be an apocalypse. It's scary really. Makes me want to learn to live on the land. Not a bad skill to learn. My husband and I will just do our best to be in the best shape we can be mentally and physically when that time comes. Why worry over things like that though...but it wont hurt to be prepared.

So you all now have an insight on the crazy things that run through my head at 1:46 am. Ok wait things like this roam through my hand endlessly it's cool though...good writing material. Speaking of writing, my husband is a non practicing writer...lol meaning he's never been published but that doesn't mean his stuff isn't good...he just hasn't been given that one shot yet...soon though....soon. Eh...I was thinking the other day of how Ryan and I would handle something random happening financially...and then my less-than-2 1/2-year old- car broke down..we managed. I also started thinking about the idea of us getting pregnant and how we would manage...I'm sure things would be fine but fiancially we're not hoping to have one in the nearest future...if it happens it happens and it truly would be a blessing in so many ways. Ok well I got most of what was on my mind out here...for all to see...you probably want to have me committed...hehe well hope not...I'm not crazy just have some crazy paranoid things runnin' through my head at times...I don't often lose sleep...just on weekends when I truly need it. Ok well take care wherever you may be and make today a happy day...peace. :-)