And so it begins

For a while now I’ve constantly let others decide for me. I’ve always been indecisive whether it be choosing a college or picking a place to eat it’s always a huge task for me to actually make a decision. Part of it is because I’m easily pleased I’m extremely laid back but another part is that I don’t want to step on toes or choose a place someone else doesn’t want to go or that will be too expensive etc etc. Why should I constantly be worried about other people’s feelings or thoughts? It’s exhausting. So I’m here to say this is my time this is my place and this is my moment to let myself shine. Make my own decisions. Stand up once and for all for myself. Over the past few months I’ve had so much time to sit back and evaluate myself as a person. Figure out what I can do to improve and I’ve made a lot of changes for the best. I will never be able to be exactly what others or myself may expect or want and that’s ok. We are forever evolving creatures. I’m excited for the next step of my life. Where will I be? Where should I go? So many options which typically would scare the shit out of me but right now I’m excited that I have the power. Somebody told me the other day “if you don’t let go of the past you can never grow into the future.” It’s so true and I’m taking that advice to heart. Letting go is the hard part. The grudge feels so good to hold onto almost impossible to let go. It should happen though it has to happen. The letting go needs to be done. Forgive and forget in a sense. I’ve heard people say before I can forgive you but I will never forget. Well of course you will never forget that’s the power our brain has to remember the smallest of things. The forgetting though is the letting go. Maybe this letting go act will finally allow me to phase into this next chapter. I hope so. Wish me luck.