Addiction

I’ve never made this blog real enough. I always hold back and I have no idea why. I guess I’ve had a wall up of sorts. Well I’m removing that wall. I’m going to make this blog a true journey, a real place for me to share my ideas, my thoughts, my struggles and I won’t worry about who sees my words or not. Ok that’s off my chest. So I’m an addict. It’s not to drugs, or alcohol but to food. I have let horrible foods control my life for well over 5 years now. I have no idea who I am anymore both physically and mentally. It’s really scary to know that I might not wake up in the morning because my health is not good for my age. Right now I’m living to eat and not eating to live or to sustain. I don’t consume enough water or enough of the right sorts of vitamins, etc. Every weekend including this past one I always think to myself, ok this coming Monday I’m going on a diet so this weekend I will gorge myself on all my favorite fatty foods and drinks. Then, Monday comes and I completely fail or I might start up a good workout routine and eat the right things but it doesn’t stick. This needs to stick or I’m going to die. Plain and simple. If I don’t start and maintain a healthy way of living, I’m going to die too soon and in a horrible way.  So interwebs, this is me saying I’m going to change I will succeed and the only thing standing in my way is me.