Reflection

I've often looked into the mirror and wondered who it was that was staring back at me. I thought I knew that girl the one who always had a smile on her face, the girl that everyone came to looking to be cheered up and the girl that had passion for just about everything she was involved with. I miss that confidence and that strength. I miss her smile and the way she approached life with so much wisdom though she was very young and naiive. Where did she go?

I think I know. I think she stumbled down the path that a lot of girls her age do. I think she was blinded by the excitement of attention and young love. I think she never really knew what she had got herself into. I think she didn't really care just as long as he looked her way. I think she sank into a deep hole and could only wave at the ones she abandoned. I think she was a fool and started to lose her way. I think she lost herself and yearned to see the same reflection that I yearn for. I think I know this girl. I think it's me.

I don't regret any of it. The countless tears over lost friendships and confusing feelings eventually faded. The pain of losing 5 years only to lose a few more from jumping back in to love is starting to subside. I am not me without all of this. We all have moments in our lives where we must step back in order to see clearly. I look to my Savior who I strayed from for far too long and he just smiles and welcomes me back. Not everyone knows Him and that's ok for he knows you. Whether you believe it or not it means no difference to me. For I have always accepted and welcomed anyone into my life whether they be believers or not. Most of my family are not believers.

I am to be baptized on October 9th and it has made me realize what that truly means for me. It's a chance to see that girl in the reflection again. It's a chance to be born again and crawl out of the hole I've called home for too long. It's a chance to share my testimony and belief with my family and friends. It's a chance for me to give a chance back to someone who may be lost too.

My reflection though still clouded shows that I am not alone. I have the Lord who loves me by my side, I have my family around me who love me unconditionally as well and I have my friends who are small in number but great in quality. They are my rock. All of them. They are helping me to see again. They are helping me to grow and become what I lost long ago. I am grateful and astounded by the power of love. For love once buried me but now it lifts me up. What an amazing thing.

What does your reflection show?